lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
