Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Randomize
