my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
