And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
