Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
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