do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
