There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Naked Twister starts at high noon
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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