My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
