so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
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i drank out of a bidet.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
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I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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