it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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