I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
