I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
