After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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