I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
