i wish my penis had a tongue
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Randomize
