Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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