If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
dude. I can hear the air.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
