Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
