i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
PANTIES FOUND
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