Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
