well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Randomize
