Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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