The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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