Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize