is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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