okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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