dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
FUCK WHALES
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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