He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
17 year olds will be the death of me.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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