he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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