And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
