I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
