He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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