College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
