About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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