So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Randomize
