"it" just moved
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Randomize
