How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
