I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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