So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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