I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
