We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
