I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
