Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
