This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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