your parents love me but you hate me
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
