dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
