Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
