woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
