Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
