so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
