You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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