...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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