Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
