my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
