evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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