are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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