I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
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