whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
