Ambien. No doubt about it.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
