I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Randomize
