Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
im holly from the hills drunk
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Randomize
