so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
