Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
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