I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize