you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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