So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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