He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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