just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I have so many feelings about this burrito
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
