was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
