We need to rekindle our bromance
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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