I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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